The Pied Bull, Farningham.

Pied Bull Farningham Ploughmans.

Location - 

Pied Bull, 

High Street, 

Farningham, 

Dartford, 

Kent, 

DA4 0DG.

Website - https://piedbullfarningham.co.uk/

Date of Visit -  23/12/2023

The Food

I should stop making claims about not introducing the food, as this is now the second time I have done it, but with good reason.

I do not want the judging below to put you off in any form as it was a fantastic lunch in a great place - I do not want the first score you see to put you off - READ ON, and try it for yourself.

Pied Bull Ploughman's Lunch

0 -Pickled Onion.

I cannot judge what is absent. There was no pickled onion! A lot of points dropped for such a small thing. This is indeed a first. 

I have experienced substitutes - good substitutes, like gherkins, beetroot or even other interesting items. I have sampled onions so acidic they could be classed as biological or chemical weapons, I have had multiple pickles -  but never an absence.  

Does this mean that it is officially a salad? 

What are the fundamental requirements of a ploughman's? 

What's the meaning of life? Is there a god?  

The lack of Pickled Onion has opened up an ontological line of questioning concerning metaphysics, and the fundamentals, of what is required for a ploughman's to exist. 

They might have just forgotten or run out of pickled onions. 

8 -Pickle.

Safer territory here, the pickle existed. Phew.

Nice enough, standard ploughman's type pickle. About the right amount too. lovely. 

Close-up of the Pied Bull Ploughmans

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10 -Cheese / Ham.  

Cheese. 

Cheddar. - Spot on. Mature, creamy, tasty crumbly. Lovely.

Brie. - Delicious. At the peak of its game. Creamy and soft with a very light rind, and the two-tone interior.  There must be a name for that, the two-part interior, smooth around the outer layer and slightly drier, almost hinting at a crumb in the middle. 

The Ham.  

It was magnificent. If it wasn't a proper, home-cooked ham then hat's off to their supplier.  Nice thick slices, exactly what ham should be unlike the usual supermarket nonsense. 

8 -Bread.

The bread was good. Tasted like proper bread. Nice thickness, etc.  Before you say "why not a 10" it's because 10 is excellence. You give me Warburtons sliced expect 4/10, Hovis 5/10, Tesco Value 2/10 - 10/10 is reserved for freshly baked bread of excellence. 

5 -Spread 

Butter, perfect temperature, lovely taste, generous without being wasteful. Nice.

5 -Presentation

Beautifully presented. It would have been better with the onion, as this ploughman's lunch really is very, very nice and outside of this scoring system, an entirely delightful repast. 

4 -Salad, etc.

Fresh, tasty, nice dressing that delivered a nice punchiness to proceedings. Just a nice amount to break up the more substantial components and act as a digestif. 

5 -Originality.  

No knockouts here, but it's a lovely interpretation. The salad dressing was delightful, and the whole lot was arranged nicely. 

Food Total: 45

Flatlay of Pied Bull, Farninghma, Ploughmans.

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Beverages

8 - Drinks.

I didn't have a tea - I should have really so I could judge it correctly. I had a bitter shandy. All drinks seemed good, and a reasonable selection for what I think is a Greene King Pub (so nothing much for the Ale enthusiast then). 

Drinks Total: 8

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The venue

10 - Service

The service was particularly good.  One of our group had a mobility issue, and the staff were extremely helpful, and accommodating, and resolved with ease any issues we experienced. There was no question about their enthusiasm to assist in any way.

The staff were very helpful and all was rather excellent. Food and drink were delivered promptly and efficiently and was made to feel welcome.

10 - Atmosphere 

Nice country pub feel about the place.  Quite a few locals in having a little lunchtime refreshment and catching up with each other. Equally, there were a fair number of visitors enjoying the hospitality and relaxing in a convivial atmosphere. 

5 - Location.

A slice of old Kent hanging on at the edge of the metropolis. Flint, timber and red brick period houses crowd the street, with Victorian townhouses interspersed between Georgian manor houses and rectories and nestling between traditional wooden-clad houses. This is really picture postcard stuff.  Yet, it is only 6 minutes from the busy M25 (J3) / M20 (J1) interchange - so instead of having an offensively priced sandwich at  Clackets Lane drop in here and have a lovely lunch. (There is also a garage selling fuel at very reasonable prices). 

5 - Toilets.

The loos are great. Tip top. There is a disabled person's toilet too. 

There are steps into the building.

Venue total: 30

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Score: 83

Editors note.

As hinted at above - a great place to stop if on a longer journey.  If only a tiny percentage of people diverted from the motorway services to local facilities so many pubs, village shops and garages would not only be saved but reopened. 

Do you like a ploughman's?

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You can pretty much work out the scoring regime from this review. Drop me a few words and a couple of pictures. You will be fully credited.